Memorable Quotes

Over the years, I’ve heard/read/seen some memorable things. Here’s just a few. Some funny, some sad and some just plain weird.

“Your program is perfectly designed for the results it’s getting.” -Author’s name escapes me.

“Everything I did today is done.” -Co-op students response after I asked him if he had completed his assigned tasks.

“What we have here is a static observation of a dynamic situation.” -Unknown

“I WANT TO BELIEVE” – Spotted on a UFO poster at work.

“You can’t make people smarter. You can expose them to information, but your responsibility stops there.” -Mark Rippetoe

“I need to go home. The monkey’s loose and my sister won’t go in the house.” -Another Co-op student asking if he could leave early. After coming up with a reason like that, true or not, I let him go. “A” for creativity.

“It works just fine when the computer is shut off.” -IT engineer explaining an issue with an instrument.

Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
“Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”-Sir Winston Churchill

“She would be standing over me in a pool of blood, cursing, ‘How do I reload this damn thing!'” -US Congressman when asked what would his wife do if he were caught doing what President Clinton did with Monica.

“Veteran” – whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve – is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to “The United States of America,” for an amount of “up to and including my life.”  – That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.   Paul A. Zacher (SFC, USA, Ret.)